Elegy to a Loved One

Prompted by
dVerse

The sorrow doesn’t hurt anymore.
The stabbing pain has gone.
I’m not wounded daily by your passing from this world.
But I feel it like a heavy weight
In my sad eyes,
A lump in my throat,
A burning in my chest,
A knot in my belly.
Sometimes I cry;
Always I remember.

It’s strange, what I miss most about you–

The things you taught me help me every day,
And I am left to wonder
What else you could have shared.
When I pull out my tools
To fix or build something,
My heart aches for your guiding hands,
Encouraging words,
The knowledge you gave me.

Someone else will teach me now,
But not the way you did.
And I will learn,
But from different people, in other times and places.
And my own hands will know the tools,
My heart will see the beauty in the fixed and newly created.
But right now they yearn for what they do not have.

And the laughter?
I can’t talk about that
Without crying.
I don’t even remember what you said.
I just know it was funny;
You always brought a smile to my lips,
A happy tear to my eyes,
A song to my heart.

I realize through the shifting sands of grief and time:
I still have this smile,
This happy tear,
The song you helped me write!
And I am glad!

I don’t always feel peaceful,
Yet I am at peace.
I am strong in the knowing
That you are here now,
As you always were
And ever shall be.
Yours is the Spirit of eternity,
The one that cradles and keeps me
As It still keeps you–
In a new form perhaps,
But no less present
Than when I could touch your hand and hear your voice.

You are the Light of the Ages,
The Love that turns this world,
The tides that move and remove.

You are life,
Abundant and free!
And you are here
In me.
–for Kenny
with the song,
Smilemaker

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