I respect the Ten Commandments and do my best to follow those, and the one Jesus said was most important: Love thy neighbor as thyself!
Do I love myself? I sure haven’t at times! But I call forth more and more love for myself now. This means my “neighbors,” all of them, receive more love, and this is good.
Something also needs to be said, and maybe there should be another Commandment for this? About speech itself.
Something like, “Thou shalt not make small talk!”
Yes, that’s right. Small talk. You know, hi, how are you when we don’t mean it, blathering on about the weather–unless we’re thankful for it of course, and above all, complaining about ourselves, other people, circumstances–ours or theirs, and stuff we have absolutely no control over!
Oh, and don’t forget judging–this is good and this is bad, and that’s the way it is! Oh, really? As Byron Katie says, “Is that true? Do you absolutely know that that’s true?”
Small talk is so pervasive in Western society, and particularly American society, that–and this is the harm–we do it without thinking! It’s like–no, it’s not “like,” it is!–we can’t stand to share companionable silence with anyone, or by ourselves!
So, we engage in all this prattle. Valuable words put to negative use. And we get caught up in the complaining merry-go-round, the wheel of gossip, the web of lack and limitation. Whether we started it, or “just” commiserate, we add negativity to this “small talk” just by being there and not offering something better.
Because that’s what it is: Small talk! We’re only talking about small things, things that are egotistical, dramatic or traumatic, transient, negative, less than good, or things we wish were different. And by focusing so much on them, we lower our vibration on all levels.
Haven’t you ever felt drained after talking to someone? Raise your hand because I know you have! Yeah, me, too.
Ok. Now take that feeling, and multiply it. Imagine it going out from you, to everyone you think about, everyone you love, everyone you know, and everyone you’ve ever met, or will ever meet.
That’s what vibration does. It reaches far beyond where we’re immediately located physically, and far beyond ourselves and present company.
Small talk is draining–mentally, emotionally, psychically, subconsciously, and yes, spiritually.
But me telling you not to do it, is also adding negativity! And I do practice what I preach!
So, what can you do? You can add positive energy wherever you are. This doesn’t mean you have to be all chipper and sunny when you just don’t feel like it. It does mean you look for something good to think about, focus on, and if you must speak, to talk about that good thing.
If something negative needs to be addressed, ask for guidance. The God-Presence within you will speak through you if you get out of the way. It will guide you, giving you the words to use, the right time and place, and helping everyone respond constructively.
It’s also important to learn to enjoy, and be enriched by quiet time. Try sitting with a friend, and being quiet. If you have to, tell your friend ahead of time that you want to try this. It will probably be uncomfortable at first. But as your awareness shifts to the great space within you, you’ll be grateful you’re not clogging it up with “small talk.”
And may the blessing be: Thou shalt make big talk!