Relaxation? I would laugh, but frankly, I’m too tired.
If it’s not the academic, professional, or other work I have admittedly chosen to do, it’s the daily, or it seems hourly, ups and downs of marriage! I’m not going to disparage my husband here, although believe me, it’s sorely tempting!
What I will say is this. It is extremely difficult to meet all of my own needs, and all of his, as one person, on my own, with health issues as well, and no other people for support!
It seems he wanted an isolated marriage in which our sole contact is literally, as some old song goes, “just the two of us.” No, it’s not the lockdown, pandemic, etc. It’s been this way since before we got married, indeed since we moved here 2 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, and a day ago! He thinks this is fine.
Well, I can tell you, it certainly doesn’t work for me. It never has and never will. I also don’t think it’s healthy by any stretch of the imagination. I long for outside friendships, and that’s why I keep blogging. It doesn’t help me in real-time, in real life, and it only goes so far. But, it’s better than nothing!
Oh, that makes me sound ungrateful, which I am not, although he claims I am.
On the contrary, I’m grateful for every single blogging friend I have, whether you follow me, or I follow you, regularly or not, whether we’ve been corresponding for years or just today, whether you read every post (bless you if you do!) or just one. I’m especially grateful to those of you who listen to my musical posts!
If you do any of these things, and in fact, if you’re reading this, you are one of my blogging friends!
Thank you! Thank you for keeping me sane! Thank you for providing a break in the post-doctoral academic quagmire! Thank you for helping me not say all the things I want to say when he starts in on me at breakfast, before coffee! Thank you for keeping me company when I can’t sleep, and for giving me something (a video, podcast, or book recommendation) to keep my mind at bay so I can sleep eventually!
Thank you, one and all!
Now where was I? Relaxation? Oh yeah, I need to get on that one of these days!
And yes, I do realize it’s still Friday when I’m posting this! Thank you again!
—
My pulling-no-punches response to Linda G. Hill’s
Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS Prompt, -tion.
Dang Iβm sorry! Find a hobby! Something that involves other ladies! Book club, bible study, community garden?
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I have many talents and hobbies, but I’m not allowed to spend time with other people. Thanks for reading.
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Oh poop! Thatβs not fun….ππΌ
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Not fun at all. And it’s easy to forget who you are, but I’m trying hard not to do that.
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This is so wrong, it’s not really my place to say but this sounds like mental cruelty.No friends allowed, starting in on you before coffee. Telling you you are ungrateful, isolating you, breaking your spirit. He’s not worth it, you are so much more. I must stop before I say too much. Probably already have. πππ
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Love you Willow, I know you speak the truth here. I also know it’s just a matter of time before this relationship will end. If I had the finances, I would be gone already.
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Love you too Sis, finances are often the biggest trap …it’s so hard but you are not alone. You are a Dr, you probably could support yourself, old friends and family will help. You do what you feel is right. Don’t believe what he says believe in yourself. π
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Thank you so much for your encouragement, Willow!
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Thinking of you π
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I appreciate you, Willow! βοΈππ»
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And I appreciate your support π
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I agree with Willow. I stuck with an emotionally abusive man for 30 years before finally leaving. I hope you find the funds to be your own person again. Freedom for self is everything so sending you virtual hugs and hope for a happier future filled with many friends.
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I’m so sorry you went through the same thing, and for so long! Thank you for the hugs!
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